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Sunday, July 27, 2008

What Are Your Favorite Movie Snacks?

What Are Your Favorite Movie Snacks? I'd love to know. Send all comments and answers to:
Freds.NoMoreStinkyMonkeys@gmail.com

For a very funny story on the same topic:
Stephen King's guide to movie snacks Stephen King: The Pop of King News + Notes Entertainment Weekly 1


When I go to the movies, I used to try and avoid buying snacks, because they are outrageously expensive, but then I had a change of heart a few years ago. I found out that movie theatres only make a small fraction, like 10% of the ticket price on a new movie. If it keeps the movie there for several weeks, the percentage rises in their favor. I remember Home Alone would play at a theatre for like 4 months and I'd wonder why. Because by that point every cent of the ticket goes in the theatre owner's pocket.

Now there is no doubt I love the movie theatre experience. I'm not really interested in making a home theatre for myself, because it would be a waste of money. No video system, no matter how special could ever truly replace the feeling I get when I see a new spectacular, on opening weekend. The energy in the crowd, the total immersion in the experience helped by the surrounding darkness and hushed quiet. I have yet to see the TV screen that can challenge a 50+ foot wide screen at a theatre. Well since I love the theatre and want to keep as many open near me as possible, doesn't it make sense to support them? When I was younger and poorer I'd sneak food and drink in, or just not eat at all. But to me part of the fun and anticipation is the waiting on line at the food concession. Modern theatres have TVs playing trailers and commercials for shows that I might be interested in. If it's a special night, the fellow patrons have a buzz about them. The food ads are surrounded by enticing lighting with primary colors whetting your appetite. Reminds me of going to McDonalds. Just once I'd love to eat a Big Mac that looked as good as the one in the signage.

As for which theatre offers the best treats. Regal Theatres are the most expensive in all aspects of the game. Their ticket prices are higher, they have less deals as far as matinees and such. And their food prices are expensive even by concession standards. But they are well-stocked. I think you can order 12 different types of fountain drinks, along with two different sized bottles of water. They have pretzel nuggets and regular sized pretzels. Popcorn, nachos, hot dogs and about 20 different types of candy. Many other theatres offer this kind of range, but few actually have them ready to sell. A Regal hot dog might be made with pig anus and cow vagina, but it's fresh anus and vagina. When I order a hot dog at another theatre in Fresh Meadows the wiener looks so old and dry that archaeologists could call it a fossil.

My favorite theatre for snacks is also my Snobby theatre. I feel like an elitist snob when I go here, but I enjoy it so I don't care. The Film Forum on West Houston Street in Greenwich Village shows foreign films and reissues of old classics. The seats are uncomfortable, but I still feel fancy going there. And the food. Oy. Fresh popcorn with real butter, not the monkey sweat that Stephen King called it in the past. Fresh lemonade, several different types of coffee for people who enjoy that. And fresh bakery items. I've had the lemon poppy seed cake, which is tasty and oatmeal raisin cookies. But my favorite is the apple sponge cake.

My brother is always pushing the gun when it comes to getting to places on time and this theatre is no exception. He picks me up way late and has to speed into the city to get a parking spot. We hope there's no line to get in, then wait on line for snacks. We invariably get in our seats after the lights have dimmed and sometimes when the movie has already started. Just once I'd love to get there a little early, be able to find a seat in the center. And enjoy my cake with a fork and some peace. Instead, I'm forced to find a seat in the dark and cradle my food so that I don't spill anything. Eating my cake with fingers because I can't see the plate well enough to use a fork.

I've heard of a theatre on Long Island, out in god's country, Exit 60 something that has a huge concession stand filled with hamburgers, pizza and the like. Sounds wonderful, but I could not go there without having another trip planned as well. Something like a trip to the Splish Splash waterpark tagged on.

The key to going to any concession stand is never go hungry. My weight class teacher often said, never go to the supermarket hungry or you'll buy the store out. The same goes for concessions. Too often I go right from work and skip a meal to make a show. Bad idea. Any money I might have saved on the matinee price, or even better a free ticket (which regular Regal goers often get), will be spent big time at the snack counter. The most I've ever spent on myself is probably $22. Which is not a lot of food. That would be a "value pack" of large pretzel nuggets with cheese and medium soda, $11. A liter bottle of water $4.25. A hot dog, $3.75. And a candy, $3.

My snacks: I love soft pretzels, even corporate, taste-free pretzels. If there are no pretzels, which is often the case I'll settle for nachos and cheese, although mustard makes a nice alternative. The cheese is never real cheese, but a soft orange Crisco-type substance. If I eat this too much, I often get a raging pain in my stomach that engulfs everything from hips to ribs on both sides of my torso. I try not to eat this too much. As a last resort I'll order popcorn, but I have to be real hungry. If I'm with others, they'll order popcorn and they always let me share some of theirs. Almost all theatres have a Coca Cola licensing agreement, so I order a Cherry Coke. I really don't like regular Coke and will drink that only if there's nothing else and I'm really tired. If it's night and I'm trying not to stay up late, I'll order a Sprite/7UP or orange soda, but not Sunkist, that has as much caffeine as cola. National Amusements has a deal with Pepsi, so that's nirvana.

Hot dogs if I'm hungry. National Amusements (N/A) has a deal with Sbarro Pizza and Nathan's, so of course I'll get a Nathan's dog there. Sbarro Pizza is like Pizza Hut left in the sun. They also have cinnamon pretzels, but that has to be one of the worst concoctions ever conceived in this Mallworld. As for candy: Peanut M&Ms, Milk Duds, I'll eat some of Barb's Junior Mints and Twizzlers, I love Starburst, but they pull out my fillings. I used to love Jujyfruits, but it's hard to tell the licorice from the green ones in the dark and the taste of licorice reminds me of the time I licked a Yak's ass. Actually, I try to remember the Yak's ass to replace the horrible feeling of having licorice in my mouth. Raisinettes are another treat, but I have to eat these sparingly, because all those raisins will give me what they call in German "Die Scheisserei." For a candy I will sneak in, always a Cadbury bar if it's been frozen (Fruit and Nut or Caramello).

When I'm being healthy, I'll buy a big bottle of Dasani water, because knowing that it comes from a leaky hose in the back of the Coca Cola plant always makes me think Healthy!

Enjoy!

The Freditor

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Tender Mercies is a gentle, understated story of a broken down country singer

* * * (out of 5)

Wow. Robert Duvall underplaying a role. I didn't think it was possible. Certainly not since The Godfather. Duvall usually comes into a scene like King Kong with a Southern accent, but here in Tender Mercies he winds it down with a touch so light, it feels like his performance is made out of meringue. But a good one it is. He won his only Oscar as Mac Sledge, the alcoholic, broken-down, ex-country singer who is now working for a widow and her boy in a small Texas gas station/motel.

Mac was once a big shot. A big star who wrote a ton of songs for his now ex-wife, Dixie Scott (Eight is Enough's Betty Buckley). Mac used to be a big problem, beating on Dixie and one time almost killing her. She hates him to the point now that she hasn't allowed him to see their daughter in 9 years. And he hates her too, calling her "poisonous." We don't see any of this bad behavior, instead we are left to see a man who is paying mentally for his sins and an ex-wife who is flourishing without him.

I like Duvall with bravado. He's not a big man, but in many roles he plays them with such a strong heart that you know he has the biggest dick in the room. One of my favorite roles of recent years is as an opposing attorney to John Travolta in A Civil Action. Like a big bear off to hibernate, he loses himself in a small room to listen to a Red Sox game on the radio and peel an orange during his lunch break. He plays those eccentricities so well.

But as Mac, he's a man lost inside himself and the slow pace of rural Texas life only adds to that calm. I felt like the calm suited him, but I would have loved to see some of that drunken grizzly that made his ex-wife hate him before. It is a good performance and at least he was recognized once for his handsome career. Buckley seems out of her element playing a bitter Loretta Lynn type. His new wife, Rosa Lee (Tess Harper) is a better woman and a tougher person, who lost her young husband to Vietnam. If she suffers, she does it quietly and makes a great wife for this man. And to be honest, her singing is better here as a choir singer than Buckley is on stage. One of the best performances in the film belongs to the boy, Sonny (Allan Hubbard). According to IMDB, he never played another part and that's a shame, because he was a real natural.

Director Bruce Beresford, an Australian, does a nice job of capturing the quiet of rural Texas. He did a similarly good job, with the South in Driving Miss Daisy. Writer Horton Foote wrote the screenplay to To Kill a Mockingbird, so he knows his way around the South.

One last thing about this film. We are so used to movies with modern urban men, who are outward and dramatic, hugging and kissing and crying that when you see a film like this when even a husband and wife who love each other don't kiss and hug it sure feels like a different time. It was 1983, but it might as well have been 1883.

The Freditor

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Apartment is yet another older movie called a comedy that I didn't find funny

* * * (out of 5)

Hmmmm. I have had this debate going with my Game Night friends for about 3 years now. I say that almost every great movie comedy came out AFTER 1973. I say '73, because in '74 Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein came out which have to be considered the springboards for all funny movies after. Monty Python's Holy Grail also came out that year, but since I have never seen it in its entirety I cannot bestow it the hallowed place that YF and BS have in my heart.

But to be fair, I looked up the Top 500 nominees for the final Top 100 Comedy list that the American Film Institute came up with a few years ago. Of those 500, I've seen 220. Not even half of the movie comedies on the list and almost all came out before my 1973 deadline. But as I whittle the list down my theory is getting stronger and stronger. Number 220, The Apartment is the latest example.

It's a good movie. Well played, well written and interesting. It's 2 hours long and the time goes by at a pretty good pace. But Funny? A weasel accountant (Jack Lemmon) trying to climb the corporate ladder let's the married middle managers ahead of him use his apartment as a pad for their trysts with various secretaries and switchboard operators in the company. When one of the girls decides to try and kill herself on Christmas Eve in his place, he has to spend the next few days nursing her back to emotional and physical health. And he has to almost forcibly remove one of his bosses from using his apartment for an affair on Christmas Day. I'm not saying that the filmmakers play these things for laughs, but where's the humor?

The funniest thing in the whole movie is when Lemmon strains his spaghetti with a tennis racket. That there's comedy.

I should have known. I keep reading about these comedy masterpieces starring Lemmon and while many of them are good movies, they are not all that funny. Lemmon has one of the most depressing faces in movies. He always looks like he's three martinis away from a nervous breakdown. Even in a comedy like The Fortune Cookie, it starts off funny, but gets mired down in Lemmon nervosa. That sense of sadness permeates this entire movie.

Shirley MacLaine is the young elevator operator who pines for (get ready, you won't believe this) Fred MacMurray. I have no problem seeing MacMurray play a sleaze. I didn't totally buy his whole My Three Sons persona and thought his perfect role was as a backstabber in The Caine Mutiny. But "John Kerry" MacMurray as a kingmaker who sweeps young women off their feet only to crush them later? That's a bit much to buy.

Although there were some unintentionally funny moments in the film. Lemmon could rent a three-room apartment on 67th Street, a block from Central Park for $85 a month. Jewish men and women are all wishing each other Merry Christmas. The office Christmas parties were practically orgies. A high position, one worth having an office with a window was called an "administrative assistant." A woman who discussed having a dalliance with her boss could be fired immediately and no one worried about repercussions.

And finally, that this movie won Best Picture over: Inherit The Wind, Spartacus and Psycho. In fact those three movies weren't even nominated. That's the biggest joke of all.

The Freditor

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Is Caddyshack the Last Great Marx Brothers Movie?

Caddyshack (1980)

A few months ago, I was watching Harold Ramis, the director of Caddyshack, discussing this movie and he said it was basically a modern day Marx Brothers movie. I didn't totally understand what he meant at the time, but I was watching Bill Murray be interviewed last night about his influences and he made me realize what Ramis was saying.

Murray said that he was a huge Marx Brothers fan and probably subconsciously took some of their physicality and made it part of his acting style. You have to feel totally comfortable in your own body to be a great visual comedian. Groucho would infiltrate someone's personal space and that would throw off their sense of balance and make him look bigger in the movie viewer's eye. Murray definitely tries to incorporate that into his style of acting. The way he swoops in on women in his movies or goes right after a potential domineering personality by trying to outmaneuver him. In Groundhog Day, "Ned, Ned Ryerson" and thrust his hand into Ned's hand for an unwelcome handshake.

So I started doing the mental math of Ramis' statement about Caddyshack. Rodney is definitely Groucho with all his bullshit and fast talk. Is Ted Knight Zeppo? But that doesn't really work, because Zeppo wasn't the bad guy. Zeppo would be Michael O'Keefe, the straight man who always looked to get the girl. No Knight was one of those nameless stooges that the Marx Brothers always laid waste to.

Bill Murray has to be Harpo here. He's not silent of course, but his verbal skills are hurt by his time in Vietnam. And Chevy Chase is Chico. Which kills me to say it, but he is a secondary flimflam man to Rodney's Groucho. Filled with great one-liners of his own.

Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself. Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.

That's a perfect fit for "Aw, you can't fool me. I know there's no such thing as Sanity Claus."

And what makes the comparison even more perfect, while the Marx Bros. made movies about war and football and horse racing, I don't think they ever had a golf movie, which is the perfect sacred cow target for their anarchic ways.

I always liked Caddyshack when I was a younger, but as it has grown in stature in people's minds over the years, it has in mine as well. Of the 4 great Bill Murray movies of that era, Meatballs, Caddy, Stripes and Ghostbusters, it has moved up from third to second in my estimation. G,C,S,M. If Ramis and co-writer Brian Doyle Murray (Bill's brother) were consciously trying to make a new Marx Brothers film, then it rises even higher for me.

The Freditor

Monday, July 14, 2008

Stanley Kubrick's The Killing: A style of filmmaking that made Tarantino famous

* * * * * (out of 5)

Turner Classic Movies is a treasure trove of early filmmaking history. They specialize in the black and white movie and while some have a problem with that, those of us who had at least one B/W TV in the house growing up, barely notice the difference. I've seen chunks of The Killing before, but never the whole thing. Last week I Tivoed it and last night I treated myself to an 11PM viewing of it. For me, a B/W movie is best viewed late at night, because it conjures up memories of the late late movies I used to watch with my mother.

Sterling Hayden stars as Johnny Clay, a lifetime criminal who has good ideas, but bad luck. He just got out of the "can" and hatched another great idea while in there. This time he will rob a race track during the biggest race of the year. He figures the back room will be flush with cash and if he can somehow get it out of there, then he and his partners will be rich forever. Hayden is a big tough-looking sonofagun, who played the bad cop that Al Pacino shot years later in The Godfather. I love his character's wife's name too, Fay Clay.

He gathers a team of non-criminals, who the police should never suspect would be involved with a crime. All inside guys with frustrations and baggage, who need the "dough" to sort their lives out. But as we know time and again about heist movies, that if you involve more than two people, well the chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Who's the weak link here? The track bartender with the sick wife? The cop who is looking to retire? The moneyman who hates gamblers? Or the track window clerk with the spoiled, pretty wife he's trying to impress?

Add a bear of a Russian wrestler and a sharpshooting Mafia hitman (who could be John Turturro's father) and you have the makings of a great crime caper, perhaps one of the best ever. What makes it so great is not necessarily the genius of the robbery, but the way the story is retold several times from the different characters' points of view. The way the time line is pushed forward and then brought back had to be very confusing to the viewers back in 1956, as was the case for people seeing Pulp Fiction for the first time in 1994. This is definitely a movie that gets better with each viewing. Stanley Kubrick was only in his 20s when he made it and that he was such a self-assured filmmaker at such a young age, points to his genius. From what I've read, this was the first movie that played with the timeline like this, which is even more remarkable. Quentin Tarantino owes Kubrick maybe not his entire career, but many of the accolades he's garnered for being "original" over the years.

This movie was based on a pulp fiction novel (Clean Break) and Kubrick wrote this script with the help of pulp fiction novelist extraordinaire, Jim Thompson. Thompson write the book that inspired the great movie The Grifters. The dialogue flirts with the whole noir, "dame" genre that I'm a fan of, but somehow feels fresh here. Maybe the level of acting is better than in most potboilers of its time. I'm usually against that kind of writing, but it is handled more subtly here than in say a Sam Spade film. Plus, without even realizing it there are many long junctures where there is very little dialogue, mostly because the action is so engrossing and the narration carries you along during the bumpy spots. Like I knew Clay was released from Alcatraz, but didn't realize the film took place in San Francisco until nearly the end. It doesn't matter, because the city is not much of an issue. The low-budget film takes place mostly indoors. Which helps a lot, because rarely in these older films do you see the criminals feeling the claustrophobic pressure of their impending crime like you do here.

Other than Spartacus, I don't know another Kubrick film that told a story as straightforward after this and that's a shame. Sometimes directors like musicians, spend so much time killing themselves making the big magnum opus, when people would just love a perfect three minute pop song.

If there is a false step in this film, I didn't notice it.

The Freditor